Cafe Volcano Cookies, or, What Am I Missing?

I am humble enough to admit there are a number of things in this world I don’t understand. Theoretical physics, for example. Or the differences between Marginalist and Instiutionalist schools of economic theory. Or the continual popularity and acceptance of Lady Gaga, lack of pants and talent notwithstanding.

To this list you can now add this week’s Café Volcano Cookies. It’s a meringue cookie…but you don’t whip the egg whites. They’re full of nuts…but when you bite into them, it’s like you’re eating air. They have volcano in the title…but there’s no lava involved whatsoever. (Okay, so you can scratch that last one.)

Other people who made these cookies used words like “pleasantly surprised” in reaction to them, so I put aside my reservations about such a flimsy ingredient list and gave it the ole college try…after reading the instructions about two dozen times. I was sure I was missing some crucial step or ingredient. All you do is toast some nuts, add sugar and egg whites, stir it all together in a saucepan for a few minutes, then dollop the gooey mess onto a cookie sheet and bake? And somehow, from the ashes of this baking disaster, like a phoenix, delicious cookies arise?

Where's the beef?

Not in my kitchen, sadly enough. I was not feeling these. I added cocoa powder instead of coffee, but they still tasted like…nothing. Sort of nutty, very sweet, crumbly air. I thought of dipping them in chocolate, but that just seemed like throwing good money after bad, and especially during this time of year, there are so many other, tastier things to be blowing my diet on.