TWD: Apple-Coconut Family Cake

On paper, this Apple-Coconut Family Cake had a lot going for it.


For one thing, I like apple, and I love coconut. Love. Try to use it as often as possible. Named a whole month after it. Want to call my first child Coconut LaBau. (Actually, I want to call my first child Angela-Merkel LaBau*, like the German Chancellor, but someone in the house thinks it's inappropriate. He'll be sorry when we end up with Baby Coconut.)

For another, I actually had family visiting when I made it! My parents, these distinguished individuals, were in town and begging for dessert:



And finally, it looked pretty sexy going into the oven, with the overlapping apple slices and dusting of sugar:



Well, the positive news is that it retained its good looks upon baking. This is a distinguished cake, much like Chancellor Angela Merkel. Just sayin'.



Unfortunately, the taste and texture of this one just didn't measure up for me.



There's a passage in Steve Almond's book Candyfreak--which should be required reading in high school English classes, it is a true work of art--in which he compares eating coconut to chewing on cuticles. I never really agreed with that analogy, until I tried this cake.

It's like this: I take a bite, the cake is nice. Tender chunks of apple, a strong vanilla scent, all is going well...until most of the cake is chewed and swallowed, and I'm left with stringy bits between the teeth, refusing to break down, resembling nothing so much as stubborn cuticles in the mouth. Gross.

I will say, however, that the rest of the family quite liked it, so obviously I have my own cuticle-and-coconut issues to work out. What did everyone else think?

* My obsession with her has everything to do with the way her name flows off the tongue and nothing to do with her politics. Just to be clear.